RULES:
1. The goal is not to win. The goal is to understand and establish greater communication and actions moving forward.
2. DO NOT cut each other off while speaking. Listen to understand. You can write down responses on a notepad to avoid interruption.
3. Show grace towards one another.
4. Be mindful of your nonverbal cues - they can be just as damaging as your words.
5. Keep your tone under a certain level. Designate someone to be the “Sergeant of Arms”. When voices reach a certain level, their job is to keep order.
6. Respond with a statement of understanding first. THEN, express your viewpoint - if needed. If you don’t understand. Let them know. Ask them to rephrase so that you can get a better understanding.
7. DO NOT leave until the meeting is over. If you need a minute, ask to be excused for no longer than two minutes.
8. Everyone's feelings are valid.
9. If you are having extreme issues, pause the meeting and have everyone write a letter. This way you can communicate effectively without interruption and with wisdom on how to word your thoughts.
10. NO HITTING BELOW THE BELT!! This is not a boxing match. The intent is not to make someone hurt how they hurt you, rather to find a solution so they won’t hurt you again. Also, remember hurt can be unintentional. Hear them out.
11. Learn to let go. Whatever is said in the meeting should go without penalty. This is an open forum and should not be held against anyone for expressing themselves respectfully.
12. Stay in your role.
a. YOUTH: Whether you agree or disagree, honor your parents.
b. PARENTS: Do not provoke your children. As the leader/head you set the tone.
QUESTIONS (EVERYONE is required to ASK & ANSWER the questions below):
● What do you love about me?
● What is your most fond memory with me?
● How have I hurt you? ○ Response: After hearing their response, don’t get combative. Simply explain your intention. Remember, we all have a different perspective.
● What has traumatized you?
● How can I be a better parent/child?
● How can I better serve you in your life’s purpose? What does that support look like to you? ○ PARENTS: If they don’t know their purpose, it is your job to assist them in finding it.
● What’s on your plate? What are you dealing with at work/school?
● Are you stressed? Why?
● State what you will work on moving forward.
CONCLUSION:
● Know that things may not change overnight and that's okay. We are shaking the foundation to rebuild a greater unit. This will take time, consistency AND effort from EVERYONE.
● Get to know each other. Establish relationships by hanging out as a family outside of the family meetings. Go out to dinner, go to the museum, have a game night, etc. Doing these things will establish better relationships and will contribute to team building and trust.
● Make sure that you are praying for one another. Pray against trauma, against anger and division. Ask God for revelation knowledge on how to communicate and receive effectively. Both parents and children are fighting a spiritual battle.
● Take the feedback given and examine yourself. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WRONGS!! This is the only way to move forward.
● HOME should be a safe space for everyone. Don’t let the issues of the day affect how you communicate with your family. Instead, have open dialogue on A DAILY BASIS about your day. This will strengthen communication. Remember, sometimes you just need to vent and have someone listen.
● Plan one-on-one dates with your children. Identify their grace, their strengths and weaknesses. It’ll help you to navigate on how to care for them more effectively.
● Plan a family trip! Get outside of routine and your natural element. Create memories and experiences.
● Tell them you love them and affirm them. It is needed.
1. The goal is not to win. The goal is to understand and establish greater communication and actions moving forward.
2. DO NOT cut each other off while speaking. Listen to understand. You can write down responses on a notepad to avoid interruption.
3. Show grace towards one another.
4. Be mindful of your nonverbal cues - they can be just as damaging as your words.
5. Keep your tone under a certain level. Designate someone to be the “Sergeant of Arms”. When voices reach a certain level, their job is to keep order.
6. Respond with a statement of understanding first. THEN, express your viewpoint - if needed. If you don’t understand. Let them know. Ask them to rephrase so that you can get a better understanding.
7. DO NOT leave until the meeting is over. If you need a minute, ask to be excused for no longer than two minutes.
8. Everyone's feelings are valid.
9. If you are having extreme issues, pause the meeting and have everyone write a letter. This way you can communicate effectively without interruption and with wisdom on how to word your thoughts.
10. NO HITTING BELOW THE BELT!! This is not a boxing match. The intent is not to make someone hurt how they hurt you, rather to find a solution so they won’t hurt you again. Also, remember hurt can be unintentional. Hear them out.
11. Learn to let go. Whatever is said in the meeting should go without penalty. This is an open forum and should not be held against anyone for expressing themselves respectfully.
12. Stay in your role.
a. YOUTH: Whether you agree or disagree, honor your parents.
b. PARENTS: Do not provoke your children. As the leader/head you set the tone.
QUESTIONS (EVERYONE is required to ASK & ANSWER the questions below):
● What do you love about me?
● What is your most fond memory with me?
● How have I hurt you? ○ Response: After hearing their response, don’t get combative. Simply explain your intention. Remember, we all have a different perspective.
● What has traumatized you?
● How can I be a better parent/child?
● How can I better serve you in your life’s purpose? What does that support look like to you? ○ PARENTS: If they don’t know their purpose, it is your job to assist them in finding it.
● What’s on your plate? What are you dealing with at work/school?
● Are you stressed? Why?
● State what you will work on moving forward.
CONCLUSION:
● Know that things may not change overnight and that's okay. We are shaking the foundation to rebuild a greater unit. This will take time, consistency AND effort from EVERYONE.
● Get to know each other. Establish relationships by hanging out as a family outside of the family meetings. Go out to dinner, go to the museum, have a game night, etc. Doing these things will establish better relationships and will contribute to team building and trust.
● Make sure that you are praying for one another. Pray against trauma, against anger and division. Ask God for revelation knowledge on how to communicate and receive effectively. Both parents and children are fighting a spiritual battle.
● Take the feedback given and examine yourself. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WRONGS!! This is the only way to move forward.
● HOME should be a safe space for everyone. Don’t let the issues of the day affect how you communicate with your family. Instead, have open dialogue on A DAILY BASIS about your day. This will strengthen communication. Remember, sometimes you just need to vent and have someone listen.
● Plan one-on-one dates with your children. Identify their grace, their strengths and weaknesses. It’ll help you to navigate on how to care for them more effectively.
● Plan a family trip! Get outside of routine and your natural element. Create memories and experiences.
● Tell them you love them and affirm them. It is needed.